Just want to greet everybody a peaceful, blessful and wonderful 2009.
Hope my complicated life will turn out to be a bearable one.
I pray to God to give me more strength and a bunch of coping strategies to fight the undesirable ones the whole year through.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
LYING
Lying is a widespread phenomenon which we all do to some extent. If you are working with others, it is often very useful to be able to spot the fibs.
Liars...
...are often worried about being caught or feel guilty, and are hence tense.
So they...
...speak in a higher pitched voice
...hesitate.
...make speech errors.
...move jerkily.
Liars...
...do not 'remember' what they say happened
So they...
...say things which are inconsistent.
...miss out irrelevant detail.
Liars...
...make up stuff.
So they...
...hesitate as they think about what to say.
...forget what they said.
Liars...
...are worried about what you might ask.
So they...
...talk a lot to use up the time.
...get 'emotional' to try and put you off.
...goes along easily if you change the subject.
Liars...
...are worried about what they might say.
So they...
...use language carefully.
...pause to think before answering.
...give short answers.
...use a monotonous tone.
Liars...
...fear eye contact will give the game away.
So they...
...avoid eye contact.
...blink more often.
...rub their eyes more.
Liars...
...fear being detected.
So they...
...say as little as possible.
...try to get away or change the subject.
...parrot back your words with a denial.
...exaggerate statements about being truthful.
Liars...
...try to control body language.
So they...
...hold the body rigid.
...leak signals then cover up fast.
...smile with the mouth but not the eyes.
...forget to control the lower body (which may twitch).
Liars...
...cannot control body language.
So they...
...send conflicting signals with different parts of the body.
...have eye pupil dilation.
...shrug and grimace.
...give the game away with lower-body signals.
...fidget, with hands and feet.
Liars...
...feel threatened.
So they...
..attack, defend or deflect.
...place barriers in front of them, from arms to books to tables.
Liars...
...need time to think.
So they...
...repeat the question.
...adjust their clothing.
...ramble on about inconsequential things.
...has slight delays in speech-body alignment.
Liars...
...make up pictures and see them objectively, from the outside.
...try to keep neutral.
So they...
...describe things as if viewing them.
...use less 'I' statements.
...look in a different place (usually up and often up-right) to where we look when remembering (as opposed to constructing) a picture.
Liars...
...get warmer. Sweat.
So they...
...skin gets redder or damper.
...rubbing affected area, particularly palms or the neck.
Liars...
...know about the above and over-compensate.
So they...
...appear too relaxed.
...keep a 'frozen face' to avoid leakage.
...hold themselves still with hands and arms.
...stare (blinking less).
...go too rigid.
...go into excessive detail.
...show no discrepancies at all.
...wear dark glasses.
Liars...
...are often worried about being caught or feel guilty, and are hence tense.
So they...
...speak in a higher pitched voice
...hesitate.
...make speech errors.
...move jerkily.
Liars...
...do not 'remember' what they say happened
So they...
...say things which are inconsistent.
...miss out irrelevant detail.
Liars...
...make up stuff.
So they...
...hesitate as they think about what to say.
...forget what they said.
Liars...
...are worried about what you might ask.
So they...
...talk a lot to use up the time.
...get 'emotional' to try and put you off.
...goes along easily if you change the subject.
Liars...
...are worried about what they might say.
So they...
...use language carefully.
...pause to think before answering.
...give short answers.
...use a monotonous tone.
Liars...
...fear eye contact will give the game away.
So they...
...avoid eye contact.
...blink more often.
...rub their eyes more.
Liars...
...fear being detected.
So they...
...say as little as possible.
...try to get away or change the subject.
...parrot back your words with a denial.
...exaggerate statements about being truthful.
Liars...
...try to control body language.
So they...
...hold the body rigid.
...leak signals then cover up fast.
...smile with the mouth but not the eyes.
...forget to control the lower body (which may twitch).
Liars...
...cannot control body language.
So they...
...send conflicting signals with different parts of the body.
...have eye pupil dilation.
...shrug and grimace.
...give the game away with lower-body signals.
...fidget, with hands and feet.
Liars...
...feel threatened.
So they...
..attack, defend or deflect.
...place barriers in front of them, from arms to books to tables.
Liars...
...need time to think.
So they...
...repeat the question.
...adjust their clothing.
...ramble on about inconsequential things.
...has slight delays in speech-body alignment.
Liars...
...make up pictures and see them objectively, from the outside.
...try to keep neutral.
So they...
...describe things as if viewing them.
...use less 'I' statements.
...look in a different place (usually up and often up-right) to where we look when remembering (as opposed to constructing) a picture.
Liars...
...get warmer. Sweat.
So they...
...skin gets redder or damper.
...rubbing affected area, particularly palms or the neck.
Liars...
...know about the above and over-compensate.
So they...
...appear too relaxed.
...keep a 'frozen face' to avoid leakage.
...hold themselves still with hands and arms.
...stare (blinking less).
...go too rigid.
...go into excessive detail.
...show no discrepancies at all.
...wear dark glasses.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
how competent can you be?????????????
Just wanna share an e-mail from my friend regarding the not so competent nurses (not all) in the Phils. today. It reads:
Dear Friends,
The letter below is from my daughter in law and family whose father just died from Cancer at one of our hospitals in Quezon City last Sunday, 20th of January 2008.
papano na ang mahihirap na walang kamalay malay at walang pagkukunan?
I HATE BEING A NURSE..........
I am an OFW registered nurse currently working in one of the Gulf countries for more than 10 years now.
I was on my annual leave last October when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and upon learning this, we had him admitted in a reputable tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases in the Philippines . On the day my father was scheduled for admission, he woke up early and excitedly prepared for his stay in this hospital. He wants to undergo the operation because he knew that he would get better. He was not aware though, of the complications he might encounter after the surgery.
Since we knew that the surgery will be expensive, our family unanimously agreed that he would be admitted in the "charity ward" for the reason that he would just stay only for a few days or a maximum of one month..
Then he had the surgery.
During the operation, and while we were waiting at the watcher's area, the anaesthesiologist talked to us. She told us that our father is intubated and he would need a respirator in order to give his heart a rest. She assured us however that he would stay for only three days (at most) in the ICU and would be transferred in the ward immediately if no complications arise.
While in the ICU, my father's blood pressure was unstable and de-saturating up to 80%. He stayed there for three days with unstable BP. I noticed that his right IV cannula was out already since the site was bulging. I informed the nurse-in-charge about what I saw. He just answered me that the site was "ok".
On the third day that he was transferred to his old room, we noticed that he had difficulty breathing. The nurse-on-duty then checked my father with a pulse oximeter. His oxygen saturation was 74% with a pulse rate of more than 100. He just increased the nasal cannula to10L and that he will inform the doctor.
After hours of waiting for the doctor to arrive and calling the nurse many times to inform the doctor again, my father had respiratory arrest. Since my husband, who was with me at the time, is a respiratory therapist (by the way, we had just extended our leave) we assisted the doctor in intubating my father as the nurses on that ward were just staring and waiting for the code team to arrive. After transferring our father to medical ICU, it was time to return to the Gulf country to work.
My father had stayed in the hospital for 2 months. During this period, he acquired nosocomial infection, bacteria acquired from the hospital because of poor handling by medical staff. The doctors attending to him had ordered antibiotics which cost around 1500 pesos to 2500 pesos, given every 4-6 hours.
Since my father's condition was not improving, they did another biopsy for the surrounding tissues of the removed part of the lung. The results had shown that it was infected already and the new diagnosis was Stage IV cancer. One of the doctors commented that the cancer might have been there since the beginning and even before the operation. Hearing this statement from him upset me because he was initially diagnosed as Stage II only and that it was still operable.
Had we known that he was in Stage IV already, we would not have allowed the operation at all. He could have enjoyed the last days of his life – going to the mall and watching movies with my mother as they used to do before he was hospitalized.
My father was a good man. Everyone has a kind word for him. I could not stand to watch him helpless while bedridden.
He did not suffer because of the cancer. HE SUFFERED BECAUSE OF THE NEGLIGENCE OF THE HOSPITAL STAFF. I would know because I am in frequent contact with my family during all those times.
I would cry with desperation because here I am, a nurse, and I was helpless and could not do anything while my father lied in bed, having difficulty in breathing. EACH TIME THEY INFORMED THE NURSE, IT WOULD TAKE HOURS BEFORE THEY COME TO ASSESS MY FATHER. CALLING THE DOCTOR WOULD AGAIN TAKE HOURS.
MY FAMILY HEARD THIS COMMENT FROM ONE OF THE STAFF NURSES, "YOU ARE IN THE CHARITY WARD. THEREFORE, DO NOT EXPECT QUALITY CARE. YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELVES, FROM GIVING HIM A BATH TO FEEDING HIM ".
ANOTHER DOCTOR ASKED MY BROTHER WHAT OUR PROBLEM WAS AND WHY ARE WE STILL COMPLAINING WHEN WE ALREADY KNEW BY THEN THAT THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT FOR MY FATHER'S CONDITION TO IMPROVE. (This conversation happened just after my mother in law who is also working in the Gulf country made an overseas call to the Medical Director to complain about this situation).
Why shouldn't we complain? The hospital staff refused to even clean the tracheostomy site or the wound site of the patient. We asked one nurse to give us pain reliever for my father, and instead she gave an antibiotic because he has an infection. The antibiotic she gave was for prophylaxis so my father would not have infection after the surgery.
INCOMPETENT STAFF....
On Sunday, we "gave up" our father to cancer. We had fought since the beginning, we fought a battle against lung cancer, but we lost the war against infections which were caused by negligence and malpractice of the staff around him. I felt so helpless as I looked at my father lying on that hospital bed, hopeless and suffering. It hurt me so much knowing about the things they've done and have not done, the poor management and the very poor quality care they had given my father.
I never worked like them ever in my career as a nurse. I've never neglected my patients. It is an irony that I could not give my father the same quality care I give my patients. I hate myself for not having done anything after seeing all the things they've done to my father and knowing that they were wrong.
How I wish I could just be an ignorant person who doesn't know what goes on in a hospital.
We went to the hospital with hope and excitement, but we left this lung center with despair and anger and my father lying in a coffin.
We are writing this not just for our father, but for the next fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who would also suffer in that hospital. This lung center is claimed to be of high standard quality care, a tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases, the last place of hope for the sick. But the hospital we turned to does not have any compassion and sympathy, Their staff do not know how to take care of the patients, from the security guard to the doctors and nurses. It is my first time in my whole life that I felt so small in this world. They made us feel like garbage to them.
I feel sympathy for my kababayans and for anybody who will enter that hospital for they have nowhere else to go.
We had our father admitted in the charity ward, but our total bill had reached more than half a million pesos, excluding the medicines and supplies we buy everyday, spending almost 10,000 to 12,000 pesos a day.
I feel sympathy too for the poor, for those who cannot afford quality care. I just wonder sometimes where they find the 50 pesos they need for the rent of a piece of folding bed for one night in the "watchers area", an area for the relatives of those in ICU where they wait for a call from the staff inside. By morning, these "folding beds" that they have paid for will be taken from them even if they are still sleeping.
I feel sorry for those student nurses and medical students being trained in that hospital for the quality of training that they will have will not be up to international standards. They might not even learn anything at all. I am so afraid on what they might do after they graduate when they start to practice their profession. The staff at this lung center does not even know how to prevent bedsores and are not knowledgeable about infection control, both of which are basic nursing skills.
We had a meeting with the director of that hospital and complained about the situation of our father. NOTHING HAPPENED, OUR COMPLAINT HAD BEEN IGNORED. They told us that an investigation will be initiated to relieve us of our pain, that they will attend to our father PERSONALLY. A few days passed after this meeting but we never saw even the shadow of this female assistant medical director who even cried with my sister during this meeting.
MY FATHER IS ALREADY DEAD AND WE JUST BURIED HIM YESTERDAY.
I feel this is the only way I will be heard, and so I ask everyone for their help, for those of you who will read this letter to pass on to your friends and families so they would know the present condition of the very poor health care system in our country, OUR BELOVED PHILIPPINES.
I hope something might come out of this and pave the way to change the health care system.
FROM NAME WITHHELD,
RN, Doha , Qatar
HOPE THIS LETTER WILL SERVE AS AN EYE OPENER FOR OUR FUTURE NURSES.
Dear Friends,
The letter below is from my daughter in law and family whose father just died from Cancer at one of our hospitals in Quezon City last Sunday, 20th of January 2008.
papano na ang mahihirap na walang kamalay malay at walang pagkukunan?
I HATE BEING A NURSE..........
I am an OFW registered nurse currently working in one of the Gulf countries for more than 10 years now.
I was on my annual leave last October when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and upon learning this, we had him admitted in a reputable tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases in the Philippines . On the day my father was scheduled for admission, he woke up early and excitedly prepared for his stay in this hospital. He wants to undergo the operation because he knew that he would get better. He was not aware though, of the complications he might encounter after the surgery.
Since we knew that the surgery will be expensive, our family unanimously agreed that he would be admitted in the "charity ward" for the reason that he would just stay only for a few days or a maximum of one month..
Then he had the surgery.
During the operation, and while we were waiting at the watcher's area, the anaesthesiologist talked to us. She told us that our father is intubated and he would need a respirator in order to give his heart a rest. She assured us however that he would stay for only three days (at most) in the ICU and would be transferred in the ward immediately if no complications arise.
While in the ICU, my father's blood pressure was unstable and de-saturating up to 80%. He stayed there for three days with unstable BP. I noticed that his right IV cannula was out already since the site was bulging. I informed the nurse-in-charge about what I saw. He just answered me that the site was "ok".
On the third day that he was transferred to his old room, we noticed that he had difficulty breathing. The nurse-on-duty then checked my father with a pulse oximeter. His oxygen saturation was 74% with a pulse rate of more than 100. He just increased the nasal cannula to10L and that he will inform the doctor.
After hours of waiting for the doctor to arrive and calling the nurse many times to inform the doctor again, my father had respiratory arrest. Since my husband, who was with me at the time, is a respiratory therapist (by the way, we had just extended our leave) we assisted the doctor in intubating my father as the nurses on that ward were just staring and waiting for the code team to arrive. After transferring our father to medical ICU, it was time to return to the Gulf country to work.
My father had stayed in the hospital for 2 months. During this period, he acquired nosocomial infection, bacteria acquired from the hospital because of poor handling by medical staff. The doctors attending to him had ordered antibiotics which cost around 1500 pesos to 2500 pesos, given every 4-6 hours.
Since my father's condition was not improving, they did another biopsy for the surrounding tissues of the removed part of the lung. The results had shown that it was infected already and the new diagnosis was Stage IV cancer. One of the doctors commented that the cancer might have been there since the beginning and even before the operation. Hearing this statement from him upset me because he was initially diagnosed as Stage II only and that it was still operable.
Had we known that he was in Stage IV already, we would not have allowed the operation at all. He could have enjoyed the last days of his life – going to the mall and watching movies with my mother as they used to do before he was hospitalized.
My father was a good man. Everyone has a kind word for him. I could not stand to watch him helpless while bedridden.
He did not suffer because of the cancer. HE SUFFERED BECAUSE OF THE NEGLIGENCE OF THE HOSPITAL STAFF. I would know because I am in frequent contact with my family during all those times.
I would cry with desperation because here I am, a nurse, and I was helpless and could not do anything while my father lied in bed, having difficulty in breathing. EACH TIME THEY INFORMED THE NURSE, IT WOULD TAKE HOURS BEFORE THEY COME TO ASSESS MY FATHER. CALLING THE DOCTOR WOULD AGAIN TAKE HOURS.
MY FAMILY HEARD THIS COMMENT FROM ONE OF THE STAFF NURSES, "YOU ARE IN THE CHARITY WARD. THEREFORE, DO NOT EXPECT QUALITY CARE. YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELVES, FROM GIVING HIM A BATH TO FEEDING HIM ".
ANOTHER DOCTOR ASKED MY BROTHER WHAT OUR PROBLEM WAS AND WHY ARE WE STILL COMPLAINING WHEN WE ALREADY KNEW BY THEN THAT THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT FOR MY FATHER'S CONDITION TO IMPROVE. (This conversation happened just after my mother in law who is also working in the Gulf country made an overseas call to the Medical Director to complain about this situation).
Why shouldn't we complain? The hospital staff refused to even clean the tracheostomy site or the wound site of the patient. We asked one nurse to give us pain reliever for my father, and instead she gave an antibiotic because he has an infection. The antibiotic she gave was for prophylaxis so my father would not have infection after the surgery.
INCOMPETENT STAFF....
On Sunday, we "gave up" our father to cancer. We had fought since the beginning, we fought a battle against lung cancer, but we lost the war against infections which were caused by negligence and malpractice of the staff around him. I felt so helpless as I looked at my father lying on that hospital bed, hopeless and suffering. It hurt me so much knowing about the things they've done and have not done, the poor management and the very poor quality care they had given my father.
I never worked like them ever in my career as a nurse. I've never neglected my patients. It is an irony that I could not give my father the same quality care I give my patients. I hate myself for not having done anything after seeing all the things they've done to my father and knowing that they were wrong.
How I wish I could just be an ignorant person who doesn't know what goes on in a hospital.
We went to the hospital with hope and excitement, but we left this lung center with despair and anger and my father lying in a coffin.
We are writing this not just for our father, but for the next fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who would also suffer in that hospital. This lung center is claimed to be of high standard quality care, a tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases, the last place of hope for the sick. But the hospital we turned to does not have any compassion and sympathy, Their staff do not know how to take care of the patients, from the security guard to the doctors and nurses. It is my first time in my whole life that I felt so small in this world. They made us feel like garbage to them.
I feel sympathy for my kababayans and for anybody who will enter that hospital for they have nowhere else to go.
We had our father admitted in the charity ward, but our total bill had reached more than half a million pesos, excluding the medicines and supplies we buy everyday, spending almost 10,000 to 12,000 pesos a day.
I feel sympathy too for the poor, for those who cannot afford quality care. I just wonder sometimes where they find the 50 pesos they need for the rent of a piece of folding bed for one night in the "watchers area", an area for the relatives of those in ICU where they wait for a call from the staff inside. By morning, these "folding beds" that they have paid for will be taken from them even if they are still sleeping.
I feel sorry for those student nurses and medical students being trained in that hospital for the quality of training that they will have will not be up to international standards. They might not even learn anything at all. I am so afraid on what they might do after they graduate when they start to practice their profession. The staff at this lung center does not even know how to prevent bedsores and are not knowledgeable about infection control, both of which are basic nursing skills.
We had a meeting with the director of that hospital and complained about the situation of our father. NOTHING HAPPENED, OUR COMPLAINT HAD BEEN IGNORED. They told us that an investigation will be initiated to relieve us of our pain, that they will attend to our father PERSONALLY. A few days passed after this meeting but we never saw even the shadow of this female assistant medical director who even cried with my sister during this meeting.
MY FATHER IS ALREADY DEAD AND WE JUST BURIED HIM YESTERDAY.
I feel this is the only way I will be heard, and so I ask everyone for their help, for those of you who will read this letter to pass on to your friends and families so they would know the present condition of the very poor health care system in our country, OUR BELOVED PHILIPPINES.
I hope something might come out of this and pave the way to change the health care system.
FROM NAME WITHHELD,
RN, Doha , Qatar
HOPE THIS LETTER WILL SERVE AS AN EYE OPENER FOR OUR FUTURE NURSES.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
an ideal wedding
Haaaaaiiii. It's time for me to have a 2 weeks rest (i hope so). Very tiring yung mga nakaraang araw. Pero ang dami ko pa ring dapat tapusin.
Yesterday was the wedding of my nephew Ivan, a very solemn and organized one. It made me cry seeing mg sister walking down the aisle with her family. I can see the sadness in her eyes and I can't help myself but to symphatized with her nakakainis nga mas nauna pa yata akong maiyak sa ate ko. Lagi niya kasing sinasabi sa akin na 3 na lang sila na maiiwan sa house nila kasi ayaw naman daw ni Ivan sa kanila tumira. Tama naman yon, they want to start and build a family on their own. They want to experience the struggles and joys of having one.
The reception was in Ilustrado somewhere in Intramuros. Grabe ang foods ang dami pero for me hindi siya palatable siguro hindi lang ako used to sa mga pagkaing naguumapaw sa herbs and spices kakaiba ang lasa, hindi kasi ako sosi eh ehehe. Vegie salad, brownies at fresh fruits (especially watermelon which is undeniably my favorite second sa ripe mango, kahit mga CIs alam yan, i can eat a whole kakaiba di ba?) lang kinain ko. And since I am a very emotional and sentimental person, umiyak na naman ako ng todo todo sa reception while watching the developmental milestones of the couple especially seeing my mom with my nephew sa picture when he was just barely 1 y/o, naalala ko bigla ang nanay ko who already passed away 2 years ago, sana ganun na lang lagi kung maaalala ko siya, healthy and jolly person kahit minsan lagi ring naninigaw. My daughter was wondering why i was crying at natatawa na lang ako, para akong engot, pero wala akong magagawa ganito talaga ako, napakasensitive.
Very tiring and delightful occassion, i really enjoyed it particularly seeing my beautiful daughter in the entourage as flower girl, very beautiful (siyempre nanay eh).
Bye!!!!!!
Yesterday was the wedding of my nephew Ivan, a very solemn and organized one. It made me cry seeing mg sister walking down the aisle with her family. I can see the sadness in her eyes and I can't help myself but to symphatized with her nakakainis nga mas nauna pa yata akong maiyak sa ate ko. Lagi niya kasing sinasabi sa akin na 3 na lang sila na maiiwan sa house nila kasi ayaw naman daw ni Ivan sa kanila tumira. Tama naman yon, they want to start and build a family on their own. They want to experience the struggles and joys of having one.
The reception was in Ilustrado somewhere in Intramuros. Grabe ang foods ang dami pero for me hindi siya palatable siguro hindi lang ako used to sa mga pagkaing naguumapaw sa herbs and spices kakaiba ang lasa, hindi kasi ako sosi eh ehehe. Vegie salad, brownies at fresh fruits (especially watermelon which is undeniably my favorite second sa ripe mango, kahit mga CIs alam yan, i can eat a whole kakaiba di ba?) lang kinain ko. And since I am a very emotional and sentimental person, umiyak na naman ako ng todo todo sa reception while watching the developmental milestones of the couple especially seeing my mom with my nephew sa picture when he was just barely 1 y/o, naalala ko bigla ang nanay ko who already passed away 2 years ago, sana ganun na lang lagi kung maaalala ko siya, healthy and jolly person kahit minsan lagi ring naninigaw. My daughter was wondering why i was crying at natatawa na lang ako, para akong engot, pero wala akong magagawa ganito talaga ako, napakasensitive.
Very tiring and delightful occassion, i really enjoyed it particularly seeing my beautiful daughter in the entourage as flower girl, very beautiful (siyempre nanay eh).
Bye!!!!!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
can't please everybody
I know i am not a perfect leader!
Sometimes it gives me a heartache when somebody misunderstood my behaviors. One incident happened 6 hours ago during our integration, one of my co-ci texted me a while ago, a long text that almost shocked me. she said hindi na raw ako ung lanie na she knew 4 years ago, nagbago na raw ako, dahil ba raw iba ang religion niya kaya kailangang pagtawanan ko siya. Nasan ba ang logic nun, nagbibiruan kami sa integ then suddenly she exploded, nashocked talaga kami at akala namin aatakihin siya. Sabi pa niya sa text naiimpluwensiyan na ko ng ibang tao kaya ako nagbabago.
Hindi ko kailangan tanungin ang sarili ko kung nagbago na ko kasi i still know my true identity, i know where i stand, mayroon akong integrity, i'm aware of my actions and still have the patience in dealing with different class of people.
Minsan iniisip ko ng magquit kasi bakit ganito, ginagawa ko ng maayos ang trabaho ko pero laging my comments and reactions. I'm really trying to be friendly with everybody kahit civil lang kasi wala ka namang choice kasi araw araw mo silang nakikita.
Grabe talaga lalo na ang sabihan kang dahil sa religion kaya ka nawalan ng respeto sa kanya. Ni minsan sa buong buhay ko di naging issue sa kin ang religion to have friends and to respect people. Nakapagwork na rin naman ako sa ibang country at ang naging close ko pa ay isang taong iba rin ang religion.
Sana naman maintindihan nila ako gaya ng pagintindi ko sa kanila, respect din nila ung nararamdaman ko. Although we end our conversation well thru text, i hope that it will never happen again. Mahal ko rin naman yung taong concerned and i have high regards for her. She already said sorry to me after a long explanation, sabi ko sa kanya i'll always treat you as my older sis just like my ate edwin and will always will pero kung ganyan lang kababaw ang pagtingin mo sakin as a friend wala akong magagawa.
Hindi ko alam kung meron ding behind sa pangyayaring ito at nag isip siya ng ganun sa kin. But one thing is for sure, kung gusto nila uli ng dati nilang position, kanila na uli, as i have said before hindi ko ito hiningi, KUNG GUSTO NILA SA KANILA NA ULI IBIBIGAY KO WHOLE HEARTEDLY.
Sana sa susunod kong mga post masaya naman ang mga pangyayari. WISH KO LANG.......
Sometimes it gives me a heartache when somebody misunderstood my behaviors. One incident happened 6 hours ago during our integration, one of my co-ci texted me a while ago, a long text that almost shocked me. she said hindi na raw ako ung lanie na she knew 4 years ago, nagbago na raw ako, dahil ba raw iba ang religion niya kaya kailangang pagtawanan ko siya. Nasan ba ang logic nun, nagbibiruan kami sa integ then suddenly she exploded, nashocked talaga kami at akala namin aatakihin siya. Sabi pa niya sa text naiimpluwensiyan na ko ng ibang tao kaya ako nagbabago.
Hindi ko kailangan tanungin ang sarili ko kung nagbago na ko kasi i still know my true identity, i know where i stand, mayroon akong integrity, i'm aware of my actions and still have the patience in dealing with different class of people.
Minsan iniisip ko ng magquit kasi bakit ganito, ginagawa ko ng maayos ang trabaho ko pero laging my comments and reactions. I'm really trying to be friendly with everybody kahit civil lang kasi wala ka namang choice kasi araw araw mo silang nakikita.
Grabe talaga lalo na ang sabihan kang dahil sa religion kaya ka nawalan ng respeto sa kanya. Ni minsan sa buong buhay ko di naging issue sa kin ang religion to have friends and to respect people. Nakapagwork na rin naman ako sa ibang country at ang naging close ko pa ay isang taong iba rin ang religion.
Sana naman maintindihan nila ako gaya ng pagintindi ko sa kanila, respect din nila ung nararamdaman ko. Although we end our conversation well thru text, i hope that it will never happen again. Mahal ko rin naman yung taong concerned and i have high regards for her. She already said sorry to me after a long explanation, sabi ko sa kanya i'll always treat you as my older sis just like my ate edwin and will always will pero kung ganyan lang kababaw ang pagtingin mo sakin as a friend wala akong magagawa.
Hindi ko alam kung meron ding behind sa pangyayaring ito at nag isip siya ng ganun sa kin. But one thing is for sure, kung gusto nila uli ng dati nilang position, kanila na uli, as i have said before hindi ko ito hiningi, KUNG GUSTO NILA SA KANILA NA ULI IBIBIGAY KO WHOLE HEARTEDLY.
Sana sa susunod kong mga post masaya naman ang mga pangyayari. WISH KO LANG.......
Monday, December 8, 2008
a hectic week ahead
First day of the week, no classes but my celphone kept on buzzing and ringing. First, ung isang student ko naiwan ng bus to ortho, akala daw niya 11am pa ang alis not 7am waah come to think na 2nd time around na niyang magduty sa ortho. And when I called the said stud, very relaxed na nasa house nila at walang kanerbiyos nerbiyos na sinabing "Mam iniwan daw po ako ng bus."
Second, nalate ng duty ang mga students ko sa GT, hindi nila naabutan yung major operation, maaga pala nagstart, sayang!
Third, yung mga students ko in CMC, the or staff doesn't want to accomodate them because they are not endorsed by the chief nurse. As been told by Mam Saulog, nag usap na daw sila ng chief nurse nakalimutan naman yata ni chief sabihin sa staff niya.
One more thing nagstart pala itong katoxican na to last night pa when my student from geamh called me because di pa raw nadating CI nila eh ang usapan daw nila 9pm-5am para mas maaga sila umuwi eh mag 10pm na wala pa ang concerned na CI. When i called her she said it took her quite some time daw to take a ride. What can I do but to tell the studs to wait.
Last night tinapos ko ang prelim examination namin in gerontology, share daw tig20 items kaya lang namaga na kakatext ng mga daliri ko to follow-up the exam, deadma. What will i do, eh di mag isa akong gumawa tinapos ko kagabi. Up to now no one dares to ask me "Hoy, ayos na ba ang exam natin." It's not that nanunumbat ako kaya lang hindi naman kasi biro ang gumawa ng exam and just a little concern and compassionate is enough. Ganun yata talaga ang buhay.
Yan ang typical na day ko, ganyan kaGRABE, ang daming stressors. Sabayan pa ng questions left and right about sa mga on call duties lalo na last friday aba aba aba ang mga magagaling kong studs nagsarili, on call sila ng fab/or at dahil medyo congested na sila sa van, bumaba ng noveleta ang mga pasaway at sumakay ng car papuntang fab. TAMA BA NAMAN YON!!! Incident report sila, hindi na nag iisip tapos kapag sinermunan mo, sasama pa ang loob. Ang common sense minsan hindi ko alam, ano ba talaga ang gamit niya?
All i wish and pray for the remaining few months of the semester is to be smooth sailing. My only consolation for now was the success of the seminar ng isang section ko. They really worked hard for it and deserves to get a high grade.
Ang dami ko pang problema na dapat ayusin, sana i can get the support i need to achieve all our objectives. GOD BLESS US ALL!!!!!!
Second, nalate ng duty ang mga students ko sa GT, hindi nila naabutan yung major operation, maaga pala nagstart, sayang!
Third, yung mga students ko in CMC, the or staff doesn't want to accomodate them because they are not endorsed by the chief nurse. As been told by Mam Saulog, nag usap na daw sila ng chief nurse nakalimutan naman yata ni chief sabihin sa staff niya.
One more thing nagstart pala itong katoxican na to last night pa when my student from geamh called me because di pa raw nadating CI nila eh ang usapan daw nila 9pm-5am para mas maaga sila umuwi eh mag 10pm na wala pa ang concerned na CI. When i called her she said it took her quite some time daw to take a ride. What can I do but to tell the studs to wait.
Last night tinapos ko ang prelim examination namin in gerontology, share daw tig20 items kaya lang namaga na kakatext ng mga daliri ko to follow-up the exam, deadma. What will i do, eh di mag isa akong gumawa tinapos ko kagabi. Up to now no one dares to ask me "Hoy, ayos na ba ang exam natin." It's not that nanunumbat ako kaya lang hindi naman kasi biro ang gumawa ng exam and just a little concern and compassionate is enough. Ganun yata talaga ang buhay.
Yan ang typical na day ko, ganyan kaGRABE, ang daming stressors. Sabayan pa ng questions left and right about sa mga on call duties lalo na last friday aba aba aba ang mga magagaling kong studs nagsarili, on call sila ng fab/or at dahil medyo congested na sila sa van, bumaba ng noveleta ang mga pasaway at sumakay ng car papuntang fab. TAMA BA NAMAN YON!!! Incident report sila, hindi na nag iisip tapos kapag sinermunan mo, sasama pa ang loob. Ang common sense minsan hindi ko alam, ano ba talaga ang gamit niya?
All i wish and pray for the remaining few months of the semester is to be smooth sailing. My only consolation for now was the success of the seminar ng isang section ko. They really worked hard for it and deserves to get a high grade.
Ang dami ko pang problema na dapat ayusin, sana i can get the support i need to achieve all our objectives. GOD BLESS US ALL!!!!!!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
shock absorber
I did not ask to become a level head adviser, i was appointed (meaning wala akong choice). Hesitant to accept because of the many problems, expectations and readiness, i still aknowledged the position eventhough may naririnig at nakikita akong kakaiba.
I have to admit kahit na naging assistant level head adviser ako last sem, i'm still a novice when it comes to leadership and management because i'm really an emotional person, easily affected with what's happening around me although i can hide it perfectly.
Ang daming problems sa level 4, sa mga clinical instructors na minsan gusto sila lagi ang masusunod, may nakabangga na nga ako eh close ko pa kaya lang i'm not perfect, i'm also a human being na pwede ring magalit at magdamdam. Hindi kasi lahat ng bagay nadadaan sa init ng ulo eh.
Mga students, ang kukulit but i already learned to love them all. Iba't iba personalities, my mga highly intellectual that i have to explain all the rationales behind, todo explanations and reasonings, haaaay. Some are very timid and hardheaded and takes a lot of motivation for them to study and be good in their academics. Ang iba akala mo very superior na, hindi pa nga nakakagraduate umasta parang deans at chief nurses na, they don't realize that the people they meet on their way up will be the same people they will meet on their way down. Very few students talaga i consider my real friends because i can really sense their thoughtfulness and respect, individuals whom i know will be successful later in life. I will really miss them all.
I really don't know what's in store for me as being the level head adviser. Sometimes when i'm lying on my bed or simply just studying my lectures, I suddenly burst into tears, i can't explain and i don't know why. Maybe because of the overwhelming emotions I absorb when i'm talking with different students, their heartaches, frustrations, problems concerning their grades, duties, CIs as well as their families. I can't just be numbed and apathetic because for them I am their mentor as well as their second mother.
I understand that i'm still adjusting and still finding and working out how to balance the bulk of work at school and at home. I will uncover it very soon.
Realizing that i have a mission why i was placed in this position inspire me to be at my best and i know even not all, still some can appreciate my worth.
I have to admit kahit na naging assistant level head adviser ako last sem, i'm still a novice when it comes to leadership and management because i'm really an emotional person, easily affected with what's happening around me although i can hide it perfectly.
Ang daming problems sa level 4, sa mga clinical instructors na minsan gusto sila lagi ang masusunod, may nakabangga na nga ako eh close ko pa kaya lang i'm not perfect, i'm also a human being na pwede ring magalit at magdamdam. Hindi kasi lahat ng bagay nadadaan sa init ng ulo eh.
Mga students, ang kukulit but i already learned to love them all. Iba't iba personalities, my mga highly intellectual that i have to explain all the rationales behind, todo explanations and reasonings, haaaay. Some are very timid and hardheaded and takes a lot of motivation for them to study and be good in their academics. Ang iba akala mo very superior na, hindi pa nga nakakagraduate umasta parang deans at chief nurses na, they don't realize that the people they meet on their way up will be the same people they will meet on their way down. Very few students talaga i consider my real friends because i can really sense their thoughtfulness and respect, individuals whom i know will be successful later in life. I will really miss them all.
I really don't know what's in store for me as being the level head adviser. Sometimes when i'm lying on my bed or simply just studying my lectures, I suddenly burst into tears, i can't explain and i don't know why. Maybe because of the overwhelming emotions I absorb when i'm talking with different students, their heartaches, frustrations, problems concerning their grades, duties, CIs as well as their families. I can't just be numbed and apathetic because for them I am their mentor as well as their second mother.
I understand that i'm still adjusting and still finding and working out how to balance the bulk of work at school and at home. I will uncover it very soon.
Realizing that i have a mission why i was placed in this position inspire me to be at my best and i know even not all, still some can appreciate my worth.
Monday, December 1, 2008
hesitations
It took me sometime before I finally decided to make my own blogsite, why? because most of the time my mind is preoccupied with so many things, TOXIC! and want to keep what I feel just INSIDE ME. But I realized maybe it's about time to create an outlet for my overwhelming thoughts, tensions, depressions, stresses, sadness, happiness and many more mind disturbing ideas.
Now, maybe, I am ready..............
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