haaaiiii, it's been a year since i posted something on my blog. parang lahat na lang yata ng naipost ko sa blog ko ay kung hindi malungkot, may galit naman.
as of this moment, malungkot ako, since maraming mawawala sa mga itinuturing kong mga "friends" nalulungkot din ako kasi maraming nagbago. changes in the way they treat me, am i the real cause of their eviction? alam kong ginagawa nila ng maayos ang work nila, ako ginagawa ko rin ng maayos ang work ko, anong kasalanan ko dun? am i the real one to be blamed?
ewan ko ba, noon sa position ngayon work-related pa rin. ang alam ko lang sa ngayon, i have nothing to explain, hayaan ko na lang sila ang mag isip ng mag isip, basta ako as much as possible, wala akong ginagawang masama o foul sa kanila.
alam ko di pa rin ako nag-iisa, we must all start to move on, it's not the end of the world. we must be thankful and grateful na we are still breathing magkakaroon din ng kasagutan ang lahat ng katanungan, in HIs time...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
WELCOME YEAR 2009
Just want to greet everybody a peaceful, blessful and wonderful 2009.
Hope my complicated life will turn out to be a bearable one.
I pray to God to give me more strength and a bunch of coping strategies to fight the undesirable ones the whole year through.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Hope my complicated life will turn out to be a bearable one.
I pray to God to give me more strength and a bunch of coping strategies to fight the undesirable ones the whole year through.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
LYING
Lying is a widespread phenomenon which we all do to some extent. If you are working with others, it is often very useful to be able to spot the fibs.
Liars...
...are often worried about being caught or feel guilty, and are hence tense.
So they...
...speak in a higher pitched voice
...hesitate.
...make speech errors.
...move jerkily.
Liars...
...do not 'remember' what they say happened
So they...
...say things which are inconsistent.
...miss out irrelevant detail.
Liars...
...make up stuff.
So they...
...hesitate as they think about what to say.
...forget what they said.
Liars...
...are worried about what you might ask.
So they...
...talk a lot to use up the time.
...get 'emotional' to try and put you off.
...goes along easily if you change the subject.
Liars...
...are worried about what they might say.
So they...
...use language carefully.
...pause to think before answering.
...give short answers.
...use a monotonous tone.
Liars...
...fear eye contact will give the game away.
So they...
...avoid eye contact.
...blink more often.
...rub their eyes more.
Liars...
...fear being detected.
So they...
...say as little as possible.
...try to get away or change the subject.
...parrot back your words with a denial.
...exaggerate statements about being truthful.
Liars...
...try to control body language.
So they...
...hold the body rigid.
...leak signals then cover up fast.
...smile with the mouth but not the eyes.
...forget to control the lower body (which may twitch).
Liars...
...cannot control body language.
So they...
...send conflicting signals with different parts of the body.
...have eye pupil dilation.
...shrug and grimace.
...give the game away with lower-body signals.
...fidget, with hands and feet.
Liars...
...feel threatened.
So they...
..attack, defend or deflect.
...place barriers in front of them, from arms to books to tables.
Liars...
...need time to think.
So they...
...repeat the question.
...adjust their clothing.
...ramble on about inconsequential things.
...has slight delays in speech-body alignment.
Liars...
...make up pictures and see them objectively, from the outside.
...try to keep neutral.
So they...
...describe things as if viewing them.
...use less 'I' statements.
...look in a different place (usually up and often up-right) to where we look when remembering (as opposed to constructing) a picture.
Liars...
...get warmer. Sweat.
So they...
...skin gets redder or damper.
...rubbing affected area, particularly palms or the neck.
Liars...
...know about the above and over-compensate.
So they...
...appear too relaxed.
...keep a 'frozen face' to avoid leakage.
...hold themselves still with hands and arms.
...stare (blinking less).
...go too rigid.
...go into excessive detail.
...show no discrepancies at all.
...wear dark glasses.
Liars...
...are often worried about being caught or feel guilty, and are hence tense.
So they...
...speak in a higher pitched voice
...hesitate.
...make speech errors.
...move jerkily.
Liars...
...do not 'remember' what they say happened
So they...
...say things which are inconsistent.
...miss out irrelevant detail.
Liars...
...make up stuff.
So they...
...hesitate as they think about what to say.
...forget what they said.
Liars...
...are worried about what you might ask.
So they...
...talk a lot to use up the time.
...get 'emotional' to try and put you off.
...goes along easily if you change the subject.
Liars...
...are worried about what they might say.
So they...
...use language carefully.
...pause to think before answering.
...give short answers.
...use a monotonous tone.
Liars...
...fear eye contact will give the game away.
So they...
...avoid eye contact.
...blink more often.
...rub their eyes more.
Liars...
...fear being detected.
So they...
...say as little as possible.
...try to get away or change the subject.
...parrot back your words with a denial.
...exaggerate statements about being truthful.
Liars...
...try to control body language.
So they...
...hold the body rigid.
...leak signals then cover up fast.
...smile with the mouth but not the eyes.
...forget to control the lower body (which may twitch).
Liars...
...cannot control body language.
So they...
...send conflicting signals with different parts of the body.
...have eye pupil dilation.
...shrug and grimace.
...give the game away with lower-body signals.
...fidget, with hands and feet.
Liars...
...feel threatened.
So they...
..attack, defend or deflect.
...place barriers in front of them, from arms to books to tables.
Liars...
...need time to think.
So they...
...repeat the question.
...adjust their clothing.
...ramble on about inconsequential things.
...has slight delays in speech-body alignment.
Liars...
...make up pictures and see them objectively, from the outside.
...try to keep neutral.
So they...
...describe things as if viewing them.
...use less 'I' statements.
...look in a different place (usually up and often up-right) to where we look when remembering (as opposed to constructing) a picture.
Liars...
...get warmer. Sweat.
So they...
...skin gets redder or damper.
...rubbing affected area, particularly palms or the neck.
Liars...
...know about the above and over-compensate.
So they...
...appear too relaxed.
...keep a 'frozen face' to avoid leakage.
...hold themselves still with hands and arms.
...stare (blinking less).
...go too rigid.
...go into excessive detail.
...show no discrepancies at all.
...wear dark glasses.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
how competent can you be?????????????
Just wanna share an e-mail from my friend regarding the not so competent nurses (not all) in the Phils. today. It reads:
Dear Friends,
The letter below is from my daughter in law and family whose father just died from Cancer at one of our hospitals in Quezon City last Sunday, 20th of January 2008.
papano na ang mahihirap na walang kamalay malay at walang pagkukunan?
I HATE BEING A NURSE..........
I am an OFW registered nurse currently working in one of the Gulf countries for more than 10 years now.
I was on my annual leave last October when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and upon learning this, we had him admitted in a reputable tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases in the Philippines . On the day my father was scheduled for admission, he woke up early and excitedly prepared for his stay in this hospital. He wants to undergo the operation because he knew that he would get better. He was not aware though, of the complications he might encounter after the surgery.
Since we knew that the surgery will be expensive, our family unanimously agreed that he would be admitted in the "charity ward" for the reason that he would just stay only for a few days or a maximum of one month..
Then he had the surgery.
During the operation, and while we were waiting at the watcher's area, the anaesthesiologist talked to us. She told us that our father is intubated and he would need a respirator in order to give his heart a rest. She assured us however that he would stay for only three days (at most) in the ICU and would be transferred in the ward immediately if no complications arise.
While in the ICU, my father's blood pressure was unstable and de-saturating up to 80%. He stayed there for three days with unstable BP. I noticed that his right IV cannula was out already since the site was bulging. I informed the nurse-in-charge about what I saw. He just answered me that the site was "ok".
On the third day that he was transferred to his old room, we noticed that he had difficulty breathing. The nurse-on-duty then checked my father with a pulse oximeter. His oxygen saturation was 74% with a pulse rate of more than 100. He just increased the nasal cannula to10L and that he will inform the doctor.
After hours of waiting for the doctor to arrive and calling the nurse many times to inform the doctor again, my father had respiratory arrest. Since my husband, who was with me at the time, is a respiratory therapist (by the way, we had just extended our leave) we assisted the doctor in intubating my father as the nurses on that ward were just staring and waiting for the code team to arrive. After transferring our father to medical ICU, it was time to return to the Gulf country to work.
My father had stayed in the hospital for 2 months. During this period, he acquired nosocomial infection, bacteria acquired from the hospital because of poor handling by medical staff. The doctors attending to him had ordered antibiotics which cost around 1500 pesos to 2500 pesos, given every 4-6 hours.
Since my father's condition was not improving, they did another biopsy for the surrounding tissues of the removed part of the lung. The results had shown that it was infected already and the new diagnosis was Stage IV cancer. One of the doctors commented that the cancer might have been there since the beginning and even before the operation. Hearing this statement from him upset me because he was initially diagnosed as Stage II only and that it was still operable.
Had we known that he was in Stage IV already, we would not have allowed the operation at all. He could have enjoyed the last days of his life – going to the mall and watching movies with my mother as they used to do before he was hospitalized.
My father was a good man. Everyone has a kind word for him. I could not stand to watch him helpless while bedridden.
He did not suffer because of the cancer. HE SUFFERED BECAUSE OF THE NEGLIGENCE OF THE HOSPITAL STAFF. I would know because I am in frequent contact with my family during all those times.
I would cry with desperation because here I am, a nurse, and I was helpless and could not do anything while my father lied in bed, having difficulty in breathing. EACH TIME THEY INFORMED THE NURSE, IT WOULD TAKE HOURS BEFORE THEY COME TO ASSESS MY FATHER. CALLING THE DOCTOR WOULD AGAIN TAKE HOURS.
MY FAMILY HEARD THIS COMMENT FROM ONE OF THE STAFF NURSES, "YOU ARE IN THE CHARITY WARD. THEREFORE, DO NOT EXPECT QUALITY CARE. YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELVES, FROM GIVING HIM A BATH TO FEEDING HIM ".
ANOTHER DOCTOR ASKED MY BROTHER WHAT OUR PROBLEM WAS AND WHY ARE WE STILL COMPLAINING WHEN WE ALREADY KNEW BY THEN THAT THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT FOR MY FATHER'S CONDITION TO IMPROVE. (This conversation happened just after my mother in law who is also working in the Gulf country made an overseas call to the Medical Director to complain about this situation).
Why shouldn't we complain? The hospital staff refused to even clean the tracheostomy site or the wound site of the patient. We asked one nurse to give us pain reliever for my father, and instead she gave an antibiotic because he has an infection. The antibiotic she gave was for prophylaxis so my father would not have infection after the surgery.
INCOMPETENT STAFF....
On Sunday, we "gave up" our father to cancer. We had fought since the beginning, we fought a battle against lung cancer, but we lost the war against infections which were caused by negligence and malpractice of the staff around him. I felt so helpless as I looked at my father lying on that hospital bed, hopeless and suffering. It hurt me so much knowing about the things they've done and have not done, the poor management and the very poor quality care they had given my father.
I never worked like them ever in my career as a nurse. I've never neglected my patients. It is an irony that I could not give my father the same quality care I give my patients. I hate myself for not having done anything after seeing all the things they've done to my father and knowing that they were wrong.
How I wish I could just be an ignorant person who doesn't know what goes on in a hospital.
We went to the hospital with hope and excitement, but we left this lung center with despair and anger and my father lying in a coffin.
We are writing this not just for our father, but for the next fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who would also suffer in that hospital. This lung center is claimed to be of high standard quality care, a tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases, the last place of hope for the sick. But the hospital we turned to does not have any compassion and sympathy, Their staff do not know how to take care of the patients, from the security guard to the doctors and nurses. It is my first time in my whole life that I felt so small in this world. They made us feel like garbage to them.
I feel sympathy for my kababayans and for anybody who will enter that hospital for they have nowhere else to go.
We had our father admitted in the charity ward, but our total bill had reached more than half a million pesos, excluding the medicines and supplies we buy everyday, spending almost 10,000 to 12,000 pesos a day.
I feel sympathy too for the poor, for those who cannot afford quality care. I just wonder sometimes where they find the 50 pesos they need for the rent of a piece of folding bed for one night in the "watchers area", an area for the relatives of those in ICU where they wait for a call from the staff inside. By morning, these "folding beds" that they have paid for will be taken from them even if they are still sleeping.
I feel sorry for those student nurses and medical students being trained in that hospital for the quality of training that they will have will not be up to international standards. They might not even learn anything at all. I am so afraid on what they might do after they graduate when they start to practice their profession. The staff at this lung center does not even know how to prevent bedsores and are not knowledgeable about infection control, both of which are basic nursing skills.
We had a meeting with the director of that hospital and complained about the situation of our father. NOTHING HAPPENED, OUR COMPLAINT HAD BEEN IGNORED. They told us that an investigation will be initiated to relieve us of our pain, that they will attend to our father PERSONALLY. A few days passed after this meeting but we never saw even the shadow of this female assistant medical director who even cried with my sister during this meeting.
MY FATHER IS ALREADY DEAD AND WE JUST BURIED HIM YESTERDAY.
I feel this is the only way I will be heard, and so I ask everyone for their help, for those of you who will read this letter to pass on to your friends and families so they would know the present condition of the very poor health care system in our country, OUR BELOVED PHILIPPINES.
I hope something might come out of this and pave the way to change the health care system.
FROM NAME WITHHELD,
RN, Doha , Qatar
HOPE THIS LETTER WILL SERVE AS AN EYE OPENER FOR OUR FUTURE NURSES.
Dear Friends,
The letter below is from my daughter in law and family whose father just died from Cancer at one of our hospitals in Quezon City last Sunday, 20th of January 2008.
papano na ang mahihirap na walang kamalay malay at walang pagkukunan?
I HATE BEING A NURSE..........
I am an OFW registered nurse currently working in one of the Gulf countries for more than 10 years now.
I was on my annual leave last October when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and upon learning this, we had him admitted in a reputable tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases in the Philippines . On the day my father was scheduled for admission, he woke up early and excitedly prepared for his stay in this hospital. He wants to undergo the operation because he knew that he would get better. He was not aware though, of the complications he might encounter after the surgery.
Since we knew that the surgery will be expensive, our family unanimously agreed that he would be admitted in the "charity ward" for the reason that he would just stay only for a few days or a maximum of one month..
Then he had the surgery.
During the operation, and while we were waiting at the watcher's area, the anaesthesiologist talked to us. She told us that our father is intubated and he would need a respirator in order to give his heart a rest. She assured us however that he would stay for only three days (at most) in the ICU and would be transferred in the ward immediately if no complications arise.
While in the ICU, my father's blood pressure was unstable and de-saturating up to 80%. He stayed there for three days with unstable BP. I noticed that his right IV cannula was out already since the site was bulging. I informed the nurse-in-charge about what I saw. He just answered me that the site was "ok".
On the third day that he was transferred to his old room, we noticed that he had difficulty breathing. The nurse-on-duty then checked my father with a pulse oximeter. His oxygen saturation was 74% with a pulse rate of more than 100. He just increased the nasal cannula to10L and that he will inform the doctor.
After hours of waiting for the doctor to arrive and calling the nurse many times to inform the doctor again, my father had respiratory arrest. Since my husband, who was with me at the time, is a respiratory therapist (by the way, we had just extended our leave) we assisted the doctor in intubating my father as the nurses on that ward were just staring and waiting for the code team to arrive. After transferring our father to medical ICU, it was time to return to the Gulf country to work.
My father had stayed in the hospital for 2 months. During this period, he acquired nosocomial infection, bacteria acquired from the hospital because of poor handling by medical staff. The doctors attending to him had ordered antibiotics which cost around 1500 pesos to 2500 pesos, given every 4-6 hours.
Since my father's condition was not improving, they did another biopsy for the surrounding tissues of the removed part of the lung. The results had shown that it was infected already and the new diagnosis was Stage IV cancer. One of the doctors commented that the cancer might have been there since the beginning and even before the operation. Hearing this statement from him upset me because he was initially diagnosed as Stage II only and that it was still operable.
Had we known that he was in Stage IV already, we would not have allowed the operation at all. He could have enjoyed the last days of his life – going to the mall and watching movies with my mother as they used to do before he was hospitalized.
My father was a good man. Everyone has a kind word for him. I could not stand to watch him helpless while bedridden.
He did not suffer because of the cancer. HE SUFFERED BECAUSE OF THE NEGLIGENCE OF THE HOSPITAL STAFF. I would know because I am in frequent contact with my family during all those times.
I would cry with desperation because here I am, a nurse, and I was helpless and could not do anything while my father lied in bed, having difficulty in breathing. EACH TIME THEY INFORMED THE NURSE, IT WOULD TAKE HOURS BEFORE THEY COME TO ASSESS MY FATHER. CALLING THE DOCTOR WOULD AGAIN TAKE HOURS.
MY FAMILY HEARD THIS COMMENT FROM ONE OF THE STAFF NURSES, "YOU ARE IN THE CHARITY WARD. THEREFORE, DO NOT EXPECT QUALITY CARE. YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELVES, FROM GIVING HIM A BATH TO FEEDING HIM ".
ANOTHER DOCTOR ASKED MY BROTHER WHAT OUR PROBLEM WAS AND WHY ARE WE STILL COMPLAINING WHEN WE ALREADY KNEW BY THEN THAT THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT FOR MY FATHER'S CONDITION TO IMPROVE. (This conversation happened just after my mother in law who is also working in the Gulf country made an overseas call to the Medical Director to complain about this situation).
Why shouldn't we complain? The hospital staff refused to even clean the tracheostomy site or the wound site of the patient. We asked one nurse to give us pain reliever for my father, and instead she gave an antibiotic because he has an infection. The antibiotic she gave was for prophylaxis so my father would not have infection after the surgery.
INCOMPETENT STAFF....
On Sunday, we "gave up" our father to cancer. We had fought since the beginning, we fought a battle against lung cancer, but we lost the war against infections which were caused by negligence and malpractice of the staff around him. I felt so helpless as I looked at my father lying on that hospital bed, hopeless and suffering. It hurt me so much knowing about the things they've done and have not done, the poor management and the very poor quality care they had given my father.
I never worked like them ever in my career as a nurse. I've never neglected my patients. It is an irony that I could not give my father the same quality care I give my patients. I hate myself for not having done anything after seeing all the things they've done to my father and knowing that they were wrong.
How I wish I could just be an ignorant person who doesn't know what goes on in a hospital.
We went to the hospital with hope and excitement, but we left this lung center with despair and anger and my father lying in a coffin.
We are writing this not just for our father, but for the next fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who would also suffer in that hospital. This lung center is claimed to be of high standard quality care, a tertiary hospital, a premiere institution in the management of chest diseases, the last place of hope for the sick. But the hospital we turned to does not have any compassion and sympathy, Their staff do not know how to take care of the patients, from the security guard to the doctors and nurses. It is my first time in my whole life that I felt so small in this world. They made us feel like garbage to them.
I feel sympathy for my kababayans and for anybody who will enter that hospital for they have nowhere else to go.
We had our father admitted in the charity ward, but our total bill had reached more than half a million pesos, excluding the medicines and supplies we buy everyday, spending almost 10,000 to 12,000 pesos a day.
I feel sympathy too for the poor, for those who cannot afford quality care. I just wonder sometimes where they find the 50 pesos they need for the rent of a piece of folding bed for one night in the "watchers area", an area for the relatives of those in ICU where they wait for a call from the staff inside. By morning, these "folding beds" that they have paid for will be taken from them even if they are still sleeping.
I feel sorry for those student nurses and medical students being trained in that hospital for the quality of training that they will have will not be up to international standards. They might not even learn anything at all. I am so afraid on what they might do after they graduate when they start to practice their profession. The staff at this lung center does not even know how to prevent bedsores and are not knowledgeable about infection control, both of which are basic nursing skills.
We had a meeting with the director of that hospital and complained about the situation of our father. NOTHING HAPPENED, OUR COMPLAINT HAD BEEN IGNORED. They told us that an investigation will be initiated to relieve us of our pain, that they will attend to our father PERSONALLY. A few days passed after this meeting but we never saw even the shadow of this female assistant medical director who even cried with my sister during this meeting.
MY FATHER IS ALREADY DEAD AND WE JUST BURIED HIM YESTERDAY.
I feel this is the only way I will be heard, and so I ask everyone for their help, for those of you who will read this letter to pass on to your friends and families so they would know the present condition of the very poor health care system in our country, OUR BELOVED PHILIPPINES.
I hope something might come out of this and pave the way to change the health care system.
FROM NAME WITHHELD,
RN, Doha , Qatar
HOPE THIS LETTER WILL SERVE AS AN EYE OPENER FOR OUR FUTURE NURSES.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
an ideal wedding
Haaaaaiiii. It's time for me to have a 2 weeks rest (i hope so). Very tiring yung mga nakaraang araw. Pero ang dami ko pa ring dapat tapusin.
Yesterday was the wedding of my nephew Ivan, a very solemn and organized one. It made me cry seeing mg sister walking down the aisle with her family. I can see the sadness in her eyes and I can't help myself but to symphatized with her nakakainis nga mas nauna pa yata akong maiyak sa ate ko. Lagi niya kasing sinasabi sa akin na 3 na lang sila na maiiwan sa house nila kasi ayaw naman daw ni Ivan sa kanila tumira. Tama naman yon, they want to start and build a family on their own. They want to experience the struggles and joys of having one.
The reception was in Ilustrado somewhere in Intramuros. Grabe ang foods ang dami pero for me hindi siya palatable siguro hindi lang ako used to sa mga pagkaing naguumapaw sa herbs and spices kakaiba ang lasa, hindi kasi ako sosi eh ehehe. Vegie salad, brownies at fresh fruits (especially watermelon which is undeniably my favorite second sa ripe mango, kahit mga CIs alam yan, i can eat a whole kakaiba di ba?) lang kinain ko. And since I am a very emotional and sentimental person, umiyak na naman ako ng todo todo sa reception while watching the developmental milestones of the couple especially seeing my mom with my nephew sa picture when he was just barely 1 y/o, naalala ko bigla ang nanay ko who already passed away 2 years ago, sana ganun na lang lagi kung maaalala ko siya, healthy and jolly person kahit minsan lagi ring naninigaw. My daughter was wondering why i was crying at natatawa na lang ako, para akong engot, pero wala akong magagawa ganito talaga ako, napakasensitive.
Very tiring and delightful occassion, i really enjoyed it particularly seeing my beautiful daughter in the entourage as flower girl, very beautiful (siyempre nanay eh).
Bye!!!!!!
Yesterday was the wedding of my nephew Ivan, a very solemn and organized one. It made me cry seeing mg sister walking down the aisle with her family. I can see the sadness in her eyes and I can't help myself but to symphatized with her nakakainis nga mas nauna pa yata akong maiyak sa ate ko. Lagi niya kasing sinasabi sa akin na 3 na lang sila na maiiwan sa house nila kasi ayaw naman daw ni Ivan sa kanila tumira. Tama naman yon, they want to start and build a family on their own. They want to experience the struggles and joys of having one.
The reception was in Ilustrado somewhere in Intramuros. Grabe ang foods ang dami pero for me hindi siya palatable siguro hindi lang ako used to sa mga pagkaing naguumapaw sa herbs and spices kakaiba ang lasa, hindi kasi ako sosi eh ehehe. Vegie salad, brownies at fresh fruits (especially watermelon which is undeniably my favorite second sa ripe mango, kahit mga CIs alam yan, i can eat a whole kakaiba di ba?) lang kinain ko. And since I am a very emotional and sentimental person, umiyak na naman ako ng todo todo sa reception while watching the developmental milestones of the couple especially seeing my mom with my nephew sa picture when he was just barely 1 y/o, naalala ko bigla ang nanay ko who already passed away 2 years ago, sana ganun na lang lagi kung maaalala ko siya, healthy and jolly person kahit minsan lagi ring naninigaw. My daughter was wondering why i was crying at natatawa na lang ako, para akong engot, pero wala akong magagawa ganito talaga ako, napakasensitive.
Very tiring and delightful occassion, i really enjoyed it particularly seeing my beautiful daughter in the entourage as flower girl, very beautiful (siyempre nanay eh).
Bye!!!!!!
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